A light in the darkness...

I opened my Bible just now and my eyes rested on a gem of scripture that I know God wants me to understand in my situation. Today is the first day being headache-free in a long time and I was comforted by the letter of a friend. I've been under the weight of a lot of stress lately but, today, I think I'm seeing a bit of light.

O Lord, my heart is not lifted up,
my eyes are not raised too high;
I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me.
But I have calmed and quieted my soul,
like a weaned child with its mother;
my soul is like a weaned child.
O Israel, hope in the LORD from this time on and forevermore.
Psalm 131

To me this passage speaks about contentment in the darkness. It is the prayer of David. In humility, he recognizes he is in a weak place in which he doesn't have the power or the wisdom or the strength to push through. But despite the need he feels, David finds contentment in being childlike, in being small, in being without comprehension, without knowledge. David is able to rest in the mother heart of God and be at peace because he trusts God's power, God's wisdom and God's strength and his knowledge. The hope that David holds in his heart is one that he longs for all his people to understand.

I told Jesus I needed to hear his voice and he answered me. He's saying I need to rest and trust in the security that he is for me. I cannot save myself...he must be the one that comes through in my situation. Tonight I feel like I believe that again.

Thanks Jesus.

Questions in the dark...

I've been struggling with a lot of life questions lately. Questions are good, I think, when they challenge a person to understand fully their situation. But until you find answers or some sort of contentment about the matter, questions can be doors into dark places.
That's how I feel. I can't see what's in front of me. I remember a while back, I saw the path of my life lit up and it led me here, I knew it would. But now that I've come this far I can't see what's further down the road. I feel lost because I don't understand the purpose behind why I'm here. How can I live without drive or meaning? I want to know where all this is going.
I'm asking God to help me remember...I think he told me once but those words have faded from my mind. I remember learning to trust him through so many other circumstances and he always came through for me, it should be no different this time, right?
I never really considered myself as a needy person before. I've always had Jesus...He's always been enough. I don't feel like I have meaningful relationships with people here and that has left me feeling empty. Jesus taught me to need people in addition to needing him. It was a hard thing for me to grasp but my present situation confirms to me that I get it now. It's strange for me to feel need. I'm feeling a lot of need. I need to have a place to contribute my passions. I need to grow spiritually with someone here. I need to express myself with someone watching. I need to give someone something to help meet their needs. I want mutual exchange. I want to exchange brutal honesty. I want to cry with someone. I want to laugh with someone. I want to live in community again.
I don't see it. Somehow I think there should be a way to apply myself in this context. There should be a way for me to establish a sense of community. There should be a way to stop feeling like this. But I just don't see it.